Thoughts: Email Gone Wrong & Communication Issues in Society

I was looking through my Twitter tweets (God… what a horrible name), as I’m trying to get back into using it again, and I found that one of my followers had posted a link to this article that was titled:

Investment Manager’s Embarrassing Email Lands On Reddit, Goes Viral

First off, how is this considered news? Then I realized that it comes from Huffington Post. Makes sense. Then I saw Reddit and I knew it was major.

Besides that little side note, I found this article/email/Internet-Finding-Something-New-to-Laugh-At-Link to be a good twist on the communication problems in society today.

If you want to read the email, then click on the link above. The whole email is posted there, as well as the background story itself. The names of the two involved are also mentioned, but just their first names.

I read the email in all its lengthy entirety. Anyone with eyes and intermediate reading skills could see that this man was repeating himself several times, finding some form of an excuse as to why their encounter did not turn out so well afterwards, and occasionally trying to present himself as a worthy bachelor.

That’s not my point. The article points that out, in a humorous fashion.

What I want to focus on is what this man mentions in his actual email that I think a lot of people missed.

Here is a quote:

If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly.

That’s just a small snippet of what  I want to focus on.

I will admit the way that this email appeared and was sent is rather strange. However, considering that we do not know the complete story as well as what happened during the said date, we should not have the right of judging this individual based on this one email. Also, as to how this email ended up on Reddit to begin with is a shame. Anyone who has the audacity to send an email like this to the well-known critics of Reddit was asking for it to get blown up and knew it would if they tried hard enough.

But, I will have to say that I agree with his above statement. This would not have been blown out of proportion if the said girl, Lauren, had taken the time to honestly tell Mike that she was no longer interested, did not enjoy the date and would not want to date again. Now, in this situation, you have no idea what the outcome could have been. Maybe he would’ve sent an email asking why she didn’t want to date again anyway or maybe he would’ve let it be. There is no way of knowing that information.

This shows just how out of touch people are in communicating and expressing themselves honestly. Instead of giving the false impression that she did enjoy the date by using a phrase such as “It was nice to meet you” at the end of their date, she should have just stated that she did not think the date was good and it would be best that they do not meet again. If someone told me that it was nice to have meet me at the end of an encounter, I would take that as a positive notion that they enjoyed themselves and would hope to meet again in the future.

People are too concerned with being polite and not “hurting each other’s feelings” that they forget that being upfront and open about what they are truly thinking and feeling will make things easier in the end. If you get down to it, not stating your true nature and thoughts is pretty much lying to someone. You are giving them the false notion that you are indeed fine with whatever is happening or that you enjoy what is taking place. When in reality, that is not the case and you actually hate the whole ordeal.

I think if people were taught to be blunt and honest to begin with, we wouldn’t have so many issues of communicating and understanding each other overall. This goes for all types of relationships: husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, friendships, coworkers, bosses and employees, etc.

Relationships would last longer, conflicts would be solved faster and communication barriers would fade. We are taught at a young age that saying certain things cause pain and create horrible situations. But isn’t this just as much of a horrible situation as it can get?

But, as long as society keeps deeming these traits as unfitting, hurtful and useless, we will still have situations as this. People will get laughed at instead of recognizing the main issues and stop judging each other based off one piece of information.

Once I read through the email, I read a few comments and this person who posted stood out to me the most:

We can all sit back and armchair this one, but there are a couple of things that seem pretty obvious:

- The guy probably let his emotions get the best of him. Who hasn’t felt like a date was “awesome” and their imaginatio­n just ran with it? Aren’t we taught over & over that women are always planning their dream wedding? Why can’t a guy dream about going out with a girl again?

- The girl could have at least had the decency to turn him down to his face. There are way too many people relying on others to just “know” their motives. The BEST thing you can do is be honest. Instead of passive-ag­gressively humiliatin­g the guy like this, she could have made 1 phone call or sent 1 text message or sent 1 email: “Mike, I’m sorry, but I didn’t feel the same connection you did. I’m moving on and you should too. Sincerely, Lauren”

- Dating, in general, would be MUCH better for all involved with MORE communicat­ion. There are way too many assumption­s and people are usually afraid of hurting others’ feelings. We’re all adults though; even if we’re initially disappoint­ed, we’ll get over it. Maybe you don’t have to reject someone face-to-fa­ce, but with the litany of methods to let someone know, there’s simply no excuse for leaving someone hanging. And if you DID have a good time, LET THE PERSON KNOW! All this “too eager” or “wait to call” crap serves no one.

All three of their points are solid and truthful. If people would just speak like the adults they are and stop getting “offended” at every, little thing, then maybe life would be a bit easier.

In layman’s terms: Grow some balls, people.

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