Thoughts: Turning a Quarter of a Century & 101 Things to do in 1001 Days

Well, in case you didn’t know, today is my birthday. January 7th. I was born in 1987 (Late 80s-90’s baby! Best time frame ever!), in my hometown of Dayton. I always thought it was strange for me to have been born right after the New Year. A good week, in fact, after watching a ball drop. I can only imagine just how stressful/annoying that must have been for my mother.

Even being born in the winter was probably a problem. I mean, the Midwest is known for getting horrible snow around this time of year (although, it is currently a bit warm and sunny).

I’ve had plenty of cancelled parties because of snow, gotten double the amount of presents between Christmas and my birthday, and eaten a lot of cake. But that was during my childhood. A lot of candles have been blown out; plenty of kids have come and gone from gatherings, as well as gifts wrapped in colorful paper.

This year… well, it’s a bit different.

My 25th Birthday Cake

I am 25 years old.

Now, don’t think I’m going to have one of those “Turing a Quarter of a Century” crisis, where most 25 year olds realize they haven’t done anything extravagant and life-changing by now and think that life is pretty much going to suck from here on out and commence being terrified of growing up.

But, me? Well, my life has been very dynamic and drastic, but exciting and extraordinary. I refuse to put my background out fully (I mean, my first name, age, date and year of birth are enough).

I’ve had many journeys and adventures in my life. I’ve met a lot of wonderful and crazy people. I’ve done many different things that most people would say they have never even bothered to do. I’ve had plenty of battles to fight, some won and some lost. But I know for a fact that it doesn’t stop there. This, in my mind, is only the beginning. I can only imagine just how many more years will make my life even more unpredictable.

I’m looking forward to it.

And so, as I plan to enjoy my 25th year of being alive later this evening with some good friends, a few snacks and some alcohol, I’ll keep telling myself that it only gets better or worse from here on out.

Will I worry about the outcome? Hell no. That’s what makes it so worthwhile.

Instead of making a New Year’s Resolution list like everyone else does (only to end up failing because something happens or they get lazy), I found this interesting site called “Day Zero Project.” You have the ability to make a list of 101 things you would like to accomplish in 1001 days. Honestly, that time frame seems reasonable than 365 days of a year.

So, just to see if I can make the next few years even more interesting, I created a list. I won’t post it in full here. It’s just too long and I’m sure it will just take up too much space. Feel free to take a look at it on my profile page on the site.

Just to encourage myself to do it more, I’ve printed it out and posted it on my wall in my guest bedroom/study. I would like to complete at least 50 of these tasks within this year. If I can do that, then I’m sure I’ll have even more remarkable stories and memories to think about when I’m 30.

But, life is what you make of it. So, I’m going to try my best to make it as exhilarating as I can.

Happy Holidays!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever you like to celebrate!

I won’t be posting again until the beginning of the New Year, so that should give everyone something to look forward to.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year ahead of them as well!

Culture: Socializing via Social Networking Sites

I recently got a Twitter. I had an account years ago when it first surfaced and I found it to be the stupidest thing ever. Most of my friends who used it pretty much utilized it to argue with each other subtly or just brag about the things they got or the stupid crap that they did, etc.

Well, after a good 3 years of not using it, I’ve gotten another account.

Why? Well, I joined a social networking site for the city of Columbus for new people to meet each other. The only way that you can really get to know each other or communicate is if you have a website, Twitter, or a blog. Or you just randomly cross in the street one-day and shout to them, “HEY! I saw you on Cbusr! I think you’re cool! Wanna chat?!”

I get the feeling that wouldn’t be very smart. Nice way to start a conversation, but it may not last very long, or they’ll just keep walking away from you.

A few of the people whom I let know that I wanted to meet on the site have added me on Twitter, since they have their own accounts. But I don’t communicate with them too much (via Twitter or in person).

Honestly, I’m still trying to see the point to using Twitter to begin with. You can only type 140 characters. Most of the stuff you’re going to say could be said on Facebook in a more detailed fashion.

True, you can connect to celebrities, musicians, politicians, news networks, artists, writers, etc. But they don’t know you personally, so what’s the benefit in adding them?

In a way, I think it desensitizes people from communicating in real life. Honestly, I think most social networking sites do.

You can talk to a person online through all of these social networking sites and get responses, whether it’s friends, family or complete strangers.

But can people do that in person, face-to-face, anymore? With family and friends, sure! Complete strangers, hell no. Unless they are really good at bull-shitting, meeting people on the fly or flirting.

Me? I personally suck at meeting people unless it is planned ahead of time. If I went to a random party where I knew no one (and I have before, several times), I just cannot interact with a random stranger. It’s not because I don’t have the confidence, because once you get me talking, I’m pretty laid-back, friendly and comfortable.

But throwing myself out into a sea of strangers just doesn’t work well for me. I’ve even approached someone and tried to start a simple conversation a few times, but it eventually dies within 5 minutes.

Is it because we are becoming a culture were verbal communication is no longer needed? Don’t get me wrong, I love writing! I think I express myself more when I do write.

But I know for a fact that I can hold down a conversation on several subjects for hours. I’ve done it before.

It’s just getting people to actually talk and respond back, especially people who do not know you, is a problem. It’s like random, social interaction is just shunned now. How does everyone think we procreated before technology? Our ancestors openly talking to each other. Heck, even our parents probably just went up to each other, started a conversation and fell in love.

I’m seriously coming to the conclusion that I am just odd and I should just stick to sitting in random cafés across the city with my Macbook Pro or a book or even a notepad and pen while I people watch, my iPod with ear buds planted in my ears and drinking a Chai Tea Latte because its my favorite drink from a coffee-house and because I hate coffee.

Thoughts: Myers-Briggs Personality Tests

Are there a lot of people who have at least participated in a Myers-Briggs Personality test?

I’ve done a couple and I’m always a cross between INTJ & INFJ.

Well, I think I have come to accept the fact that I am a strong INFJ after taking this test and getting these results (I’m freakin’ weird as hell. That’s what this test told me): 

INFJ

INFJs are intuitive, caring, quiet and peace-loving: deep and complex people who may seem equally at home dealing with the personal and analytical spheres of life. The interior world of vision and ideas is this type’s most comfortable domain, but some degree of human connection is essential for the INFJ’s happiness; a potential conflict for this type. Articulate, empathetic and idealistic, INFJs often say they just know things, they know them directly, and they may not be able to tell you how or why! INFJs seem to be able to feel others’ feelings vicariously and sense the good and evil in situations: an almost psychic ability which may be an asset in many “people professions.” Spiritual, sensitive and committed, INFJs enjoy being of service to others. Once this type’s goals are set and the mind is made up, no argument based solely on reason and practicality is likely to divert the passionate INFJ from a mission or chosen project. Whether this characteristic manifests itself as admirable tenacity or bull-headed stubbornness may determine the individual INFJ’s potential for life success.

Relationships

INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They’re likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don’t always find them.

Strengths

Warm and affirming by nature
Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
Sensitive and concerned for others’ feelings
Usually have good communication skills, especially written
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Good listeners
Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they’re sure it’s over)

I’m not going to argue against it. I knew that I appeared to be most of these things. But the other stuff (mostly relationship results) surprised me. Not because I thought it was stupid, but because it’s true! That explains a lot…

Thoughts: Nerds vs. Jocks

I posted this somewhere else, but I figured I may as well post it here.

The Jocks are always the ones that come knocking without fear. As to why they do, I still haven’t figured that out.

No sporty type of male would have paid me any attention in high school. I believe they did not even look my way in college. However, now that I am out of undergrad, that appears to be who even takes the time to look my way or show interest in me.

I do not have much to relate towards them. I’m not a sports fan (unless you count tennis, in which I could watch that for hours) and I exercise, but not overly. I’m trying my best to be a healthy eater. I’m not a huge drinker and do not like to party every weekend. I’m not obnoxiously loud and crazy when speaking to someone as well. I particularly do not have any feelings toward the “Bro” crowd either.

However, the nerds/geeks/artsy fellows pay me no mind. This was the complete opposite in high school and even parts of college. That’s pretty much whom I dated and what I show a strong interest in currently. I geek out about video games, I listen to a variety of music, I’m even into some parts of computer programming and graphics. D&D and WoW are pushing it for me, and I’ve out grown Anime, but I still have my favorites. I’m still somewhat of a comic book reader, but I’m picky about it.

Completely opposite of each other. But there are observations that I have made between the two that cause me to come to a decent resolution. (Now, keep in mind that this is a generalization of the mentioned groups from my own perspective. Not everyone acts like this)

Over time the sport/jock type, I’ve come to notice, is very affectionate, emotional and love their mothers. They do indeed listen, most of the time unless there is a game on or some type of competition taking place. Then they apologize and stare longingly at the television. They are open to new things that they have never experienced and voice their opinion with some form of respect towards yours. And even if they give off the impression of not being somewhat intelligent, they actually are. Some even having majored in rather complex majors in college. They can be very ambitious and goal-oriented and considerate.

Yet the nerd/geek is sometimes opposite of that. Having had difficulty forming a social life in high school and maybe even college, it is much harder for them to create relationships or approach other individuals that are not of their own character. If you are not in their “group,” then you aren’t welcome. They can be somewhat rude, not really having much knowledge of being polite or aware of emotion. Think Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. He’s a pretty good example of a heartless, nerdy human being. They do not stray from what they like and are familiar with. They are not open to other’s opinions.

So, from my own personal experiences of what these two types of people are like, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want someone who is right in the middle.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that finding a human being like that is pretty close to impossible. I say there is a 10% chance of me finding someone to my liking with that type of personality. Because they are either: In another state/country/on a different planet, content being alone, or taken.

I say this because I believe that I’m exactly the same way. Right in the middle.

Thoughts: Artistic Abilities & Keeping Them

You are either privileged to have such gracious skills or you have the ability to learn and adapt with them.

But this little factor is probably true: If you do not use them enough, you will eventually lose them.

Personally, I have lost at least two of these things in the course of my life.

Sketching: I actually took up the art of drawing and sketching. I would redraw what was in front of me, or attempt to draw from my own mental images. I did this for about two years in middle school and when I look back at some of those drawings that I have tucked way in a box, I can see that I was progressively improving my skill.

Why did I stop? Well, honestly, when I look back at the reasoning for it, I was pretty immature and childish for the decision at the time.

While visiting some family members one summer in Arizona during the transition from 7^th-8^th grade, I took my sketchbook and papers, pencils, as well as pens and Crayola colored pencils with me. I was going to be there for two months and I knew that they wouldn’t be able to entertain me forever (I still and always will love them though). So, during the down periods of the week, I’d hide away in a room and draw for a good two hours while listening to my Sony CD player that played Do As Infinity through earbuds (I did and still do like JRock. Don’t judge).

I was in the process of re-drawing an image from a comic book that I was currently reading. I have to say that it was the most complicated piece I had tried to do so far, or at least I thought so.

However, I was called away by nature to go to the bathroom. So, I left my things on the floor and quietly walked away to relieve myself.

I hadn’t been gone no more than 3 minutes and when I returned I saw one of my younger cousins, probably no more than 2 years old, having gotten hold of my colored pencils and scribbling all over the drawing.

Me, being in-between that stage of child and young adult, freaked out. I grabbed the pencil from their hands and just stared at the now tattered image on the floor. I couldn’t really say much, since I knew they were innocent. But at the same time, I was so angry about it. What I had drawn had taken me about 45 minutes. The time was pretty much wasted in just a matter of 3.

My uncle came into the room and looked at me, somewhat confused before looking down at one of his children and laughed a bit. The laughed just fueled my anger even more. I didn’t verbally state it, but my expression was quite clear.

“Well, it looks like they were trying to help you out while you went to the bathroom…” he stated, before grabbing them up off the floor into his arms.

“Help out? More like ruin it…” I muttered, beginning to clean up in defeat.

“I’m sure you can redraw it.”

I looked at him as if he was crazy. I didn’t say anything else. I just packed up the drawing tools into my bag before picking up the comic and destroyed drawing.

I was pretty distraught. I had made a lot of progress on it and the thought of redrawing it was just unthinkable at the time.

I attempted though. Failed miserably.

That was when I refused to draw again. And I didn’t.

See? I told you the reasoning for it was silly.

Instrument (Violin): I played the violin in elementary school. I stopped once I hit 7^th grade because the school system I was in did not offer orchestra in middle schools unless you went to the arts school (Stiver’s School for the Arts in Dayton, Ohio. I applied, failed and have hated the school ever since. Love their students and the work they do. Hate the application system).

I lost that talent for several years. However, in the 9^th grade, I had transferred to another school system because my mother had gotten a job at a children’s hospital (Yes, Children’s Medical Center for those who are familiar with the Dayton area). Given the opportunity to go to a different school system, I took it. High school was not pleasant in the other system (I had my things stolen during gym class, there was a fight almost every day, and they constantly severed Papa John’s Pizza in the cafeteria. As I said, not pleasant).

In the new system, I adapted pretty well. Began meeting and making friends that I still talk to presently and joining clubs that I normally wouldn’t have joined.

However, during gym class one day, I went to get a drink of water from a fountain and I heard the most beautiful and familiar sound.

Strings. Orchestra strings.

I had no idea that the school had an orchestra. I was under the assumption that every level of the American school system had rid itself of musical departments (Little did I know that this fact would soon be true).

I took a peek inside to see a class of about 25 students all taking part in playing a piece of music. First and second violin sections, a couple of violas, a bass player, and 5 cello players. All at different levels of high school, different colors and backgrounds. But they all came together for one thing: Music.

I went to my counselor and demanded that I be enrolled in orchestra for sophomore year.

I taught myself how to play all over again within that year. I hadn’t touched a violin since the 6^th grade, but I learned how to play like an intermediate player within that year. I played it until I graduated from high school.

I fell in love with it. I was proud of my skill. I loved hearing music emit from my hands, my fingertips.

But then I hit college and I had no time to play in-between textbooks, papers, group studies, exams, midterms, group meetings and sleep.

And I haven’t touched my precious violin in years. I’ve graced my fingers across it, but I’ve never played a full musical piece again.

The one artistic skill I still have is what I’m using now: Writing.

I’ve been writing since I could pick up a pencil. I had unfinished stories from the 5^th-7^th grade sitting in boxes in my second bedroom closet. I have short stories sitting on sites on the Internet that haven’t been completed.

But I have a blog. I write in it when I can find the time in my routine and mundane schedule of a life.

I don’t even know if anyone truly reads this (I do and I appreciate the ones that do).

But, shouldn’t I be putting this skill to use?

I have all these ideas. I have scripts and stories in my mind taking up space. I daydream about scenes to my own writings playing out in my mind, with music in the background.

I make up music videos to songs I listen to.

I see movies playing in my mind.

I wish I were privileged enough to have gone to an arts college, or a film school, or at least have the ability to express myself through these art forms without complication.

But all I have right now is my Macbook Pro, Microsoft Word and WordPress for my musings.

I wish I had the ability, as some do, to express my artistic talents and had not let them die.

Maybe I could pick up drawing again. I have the extra time before grad school.

My violin sits against my bedroom wall at home, resting in its case. I could always look for a community orchestra or a practice room to play in after work for a few hours.

It’s not the same.

That passion, the feeling that comes when you complete a complicated piece of work. The rush you get after finishing an orchestra piece with a group of people.

It’s not there anymore. It’s not the same freedom that you have in that one moment.

If there were a way to get it to return, then I’d gladly take it.

I know where my life is going and I know trying to enhance those skills are not needed for it.

And that’s what makes having not taken the chance to improve those skills painful.

Thoughts: Email Gone Wrong & Communication Issues in Society

I was looking through my Twitter tweets (God… what a horrible name), as I’m trying to get back into using it again, and I found that one of my followers had posted a link to this article that was titled:

Investment Manager’s Embarrassing Email Lands On Reddit, Goes Viral

First off, how is this considered news? Then I realized that it comes from Huffington Post. Makes sense. Then I saw Reddit and I knew it was major.

Besides that little side note, I found this article/email/Internet-Finding-Something-New-to-Laugh-At-Link to be a good twist on the communication problems in society today.

If you want to read the email, then click on the link above. The whole email is posted there, as well as the background story itself. The names of the two involved are also mentioned, but just their first names.

I read the email in all its lengthy entirety. Anyone with eyes and intermediate reading skills could see that this man was repeating himself several times, finding some form of an excuse as to why their encounter did not turn out so well afterwards, and occasionally trying to present himself as a worthy bachelor.

That’s not my point. The article points that out, in a humorous fashion.

What I want to focus on is what this man mentions in his actual email that I think a lot of people missed.

Here is a quote:

If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly.

That’s just a small snippet of what  I want to focus on.

I will admit the way that this email appeared and was sent is rather strange. However, considering that we do not know the complete story as well as what happened during the said date, we should not have the right of judging this individual based on this one email. Also, as to how this email ended up on Reddit to begin with is a shame. Anyone who has the audacity to send an email like this to the well-known critics of Reddit was asking for it to get blown up and knew it would if they tried hard enough.

But, I will have to say that I agree with his above statement. This would not have been blown out of proportion if the said girl, Lauren, had taken the time to honestly tell Mike that she was no longer interested, did not enjoy the date and would not want to date again. Now, in this situation, you have no idea what the outcome could have been. Maybe he would’ve sent an email asking why she didn’t want to date again anyway or maybe he would’ve let it be. There is no way of knowing that information.

This shows just how out of touch people are in communicating and expressing themselves honestly. Instead of giving the false impression that she did enjoy the date by using a phrase such as “It was nice to meet you” at the end of their date, she should have just stated that she did not think the date was good and it would be best that they do not meet again. If someone told me that it was nice to have meet me at the end of an encounter, I would take that as a positive notion that they enjoyed themselves and would hope to meet again in the future.

People are too concerned with being polite and not “hurting each other’s feelings” that they forget that being upfront and open about what they are truly thinking and feeling will make things easier in the end. If you get down to it, not stating your true nature and thoughts is pretty much lying to someone. You are giving them the false notion that you are indeed fine with whatever is happening or that you enjoy what is taking place. When in reality, that is not the case and you actually hate the whole ordeal.

I think if people were taught to be blunt and honest to begin with, we wouldn’t have so many issues of communicating and understanding each other overall. This goes for all types of relationships: husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, friendships, coworkers, bosses and employees, etc.

Relationships would last longer, conflicts would be solved faster and communication barriers would fade. We are taught at a young age that saying certain things cause pain and create horrible situations. But isn’t this just as much of a horrible situation as it can get?

But, as long as society keeps deeming these traits as unfitting, hurtful and useless, we will still have situations as this. People will get laughed at instead of recognizing the main issues and stop judging each other based off one piece of information.

Once I read through the email, I read a few comments and this person who posted stood out to me the most:

We can all sit back and armchair this one, but there are a couple of things that seem pretty obvious:

- The guy probably let his emotions get the best of him. Who hasn’t felt like a date was “awesome” and their imaginatio­n just ran with it? Aren’t we taught over & over that women are always planning their dream wedding? Why can’t a guy dream about going out with a girl again?

- The girl could have at least had the decency to turn him down to his face. There are way too many people relying on others to just “know” their motives. The BEST thing you can do is be honest. Instead of passive-ag­gressively humiliatin­g the guy like this, she could have made 1 phone call or sent 1 text message or sent 1 email: “Mike, I’m sorry, but I didn’t feel the same connection you did. I’m moving on and you should too. Sincerely, Lauren”

- Dating, in general, would be MUCH better for all involved with MORE communicat­ion. There are way too many assumption­s and people are usually afraid of hurting others’ feelings. We’re all adults though; even if we’re initially disappoint­ed, we’ll get over it. Maybe you don’t have to reject someone face-to-fa­ce, but with the litany of methods to let someone know, there’s simply no excuse for leaving someone hanging. And if you DID have a good time, LET THE PERSON KNOW! All this “too eager” or “wait to call” crap serves no one.

All three of their points are solid and truthful. If people would just speak like the adults they are and stop getting “offended” at every, little thing, then maybe life would be a bit easier.

In layman’s terms: Grow some balls, people.

Fashion: Biker Boots

Ok. It’s been a while since I posted anything on fashion, so I figured I better do something about that.

One trend that I’m starting to notice with the Fall having passed and Winter slowly settling in is that boots are the staple for this year’s shoe choice.

However, digging deeper into the trend, I’ve noticed that biker boots are making a comeback.

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

Depending on how you wear them, they can go pretty well with dresses, leggings and of course jeans; skinny probably being the best bet for this type of shoe.

The prices can range from as cheap at $20 – $200. If you’re lucky and have a good thrift store/used clothing shop near you, it shouldn’t be hard to find a nice pair of gently used and cheap biker boots.

I decided to buy my own pair. But I have a different dilemma than most female shoe wearers: I wear a size 11 US shoe.

Now it is pretty impossible to find a size 11 for under $60. BUT I got very lucky and ventured into Target and found a good and comfortable fitting biker boot.

 

 

Target's Women's Mossimo Supply Co. Kemaria Biker Boots in Black

 

I’ve worn them with skinny jeans and a nice top and felt rather content in them walking around the city. They even have the ability to be folded down at the top for more of a messy look. They are running for $35 online, but I went to the store and they had them for $32.

I can only imagine how well they work in the snow. I’m sure they’ll be pretty handy.

((Pictures take from Chictopia.com and Connecting to Fashion Blog)

Politics – Occupy Wall Street Protests & Organization

It’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve tried my best to find out things about it to the best of my availability, and now its time for me to write my opinion on it.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The major question that has everyone guessing and talking is what in the world is this organization/movement about?

“Occupy Wall Street is a people-powered movement that began on September 17, 2011 in Liberty Square in Manhattan’s Financial District in New York City. The organization is trying to fight against the power of major banks and multinational corporations over the democratic process, and the role of Wall Street in creating an economic collapse that has caused the greatest recession in generations. The movement is inspired by popular uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia, and aims to expose how the richest 1% of people are writing the rules of an unfair global economy that is foreclosing on our future.” – Occupywallst.org

They have claimed that, based on statistics, over 99% of the population is below poverty, no longer middle class, and is treated unfairly by the wealthy, hence the growing and popular site We Are The 99%.

Strangers take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper over their faces, telling their story of just how badly they are affected by the economy.

Here are some websites with the gist of what this large movement is about:
http://occupywallst.org/
http://www.reddit.com/r/occupywallstreet
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupy_Wall_Street

This movement has expanded across the globe, over 100 cities having had their own movements towards their governments that have affected their financial stability and futures.

It has caused disruption for major cities everywhere, New York being the major player having in these conflicts. Scandals and stories of how the crowds have been treated are appearing in the news daily, such as the incident at UC with pepper spray, the riots in Oakland, etc.

It has brought attention to others about their movement and push for economic equality, but one major thing that keeps bothering me is do they have a plan to try and fix this economy that has affected us all?

I understand that you do have to bring the problem to the surface, but what solutions do you have to fixing and solving the issues? I have yet to see any major notation on this. If there is one, then please feel free to let me know and I will gladly post it.

Even in regards to a solution, who is actually leading this movement? Who’s idea was this? Where did it originate?

The problem that arises with this kind of movement is that the public sees your protest, the government understands your point, but just whom in the hell are they going to try and negotiate with to try and help?

This is why there is so much backlash rising against the movement. Any logical and sane person is going to want to speak to someone about what they can do to try and get the 99% to be pleased. They don’t want these random people camping out in parks, looking like homeless people that just so happen to also have cameras, Macbooks, iPhones, iPods, jobs, families, kids, etc. They want them out of sight as soon as possible.

Not everyone is doing this, of course. There are plenty of people who are indeed in horrible economic hardship and have the right to protest as much as they want.

Tying up the police force in these cities from where they really need to be does not aid in solving the problem. You’re restricting it.

I support the notion of making everyone aware of just how unfair the economy is, and how they are babying the wealthy. But I am not for acting like children in public who are angry about not getting their way.

I just wish there was some way for negotiation and that the group wasn’t so leaderless to start with.

Its a mixed bag of a situation. I applaud the effort, but the way this group is going about it is what frustrates me a bit. However, I do hope that something arises to fix the problem of economic unbalance soon. The last thing we need is another crash.

[Pictures taken from The Atlantic, and my good friends Matthew Bigman and Stuart Miller, who both support and attended OWS rallies in D.C. and Dayton, Ohio]

Thoughts: Meeting New People in a City

Snapshots of Columbus, Ohio

I’m sure it’s happened to a lot of people.

You move to a new city whether it be for work, school, family, etc. Either you’ve seen the city before, briefly visited or didn’t have any idea that the place existed.

The major issue that people with this experience have come to realize is that you don’t know ANYONE. No, your significant other, spouse, kids, dogs, cats, lizards don’t count. I mean no one else in the city.

You didn’t have the chance to meet anyone at the local college or high schools as you grew up, someone from work that you’ve known for years, someone from a sports organization or community project or random event in town. Nada. You don’t know any other Homo sapiens in the area.

And then it hits you like a ton of bricks falling off the ledge of a construction site. “I’m alone.”  ”I’m the newbie.”

Now, either the first thing you do is sulk, have a horrible case of home-sickness, call all your friends and family and tell them how much you miss them and how the place sucks, become depressed, become a hermit and just go to work/school/grocery store/doctor/dentist and refuse to be happy.

OR

You get out and explore. The first question everyone asks is “Where do I start?”

Unless you are a natural at socializing and being a cool butterfly in crowds, this is an easy question to ask that has a complex answer.

Currently, I’m faced with the same situation. I moved to a new city for work and hopefully grad school back in July of this year. I’m totally lost on where I can go to meet people who have the same interests as myself. It took me a while to get comfortable in the new area, as I had to move, become comfortable with my new job and learn about the surroundings. Now that I’m settled, I’ve found that I really do not know anyone outside of work (whom by the way, is a much older crowd, married and have kids or are about to retire) and a few friends that I’ve known for a while, but they are just too busy to do anything.

So, where do I start or look towards meeting new people?

Its ironic, since back home I started a meetup.com group called 20-somethings of Dayton, Ohio with the intention of meeting new people and helping people who are not native to Dayton meet like-minded individuals in their age group. It was a random idea that I didn’t think would get much notice, but it exploded after a good month, growing from 15 members to 50 in just a few weeks. Now, its well over 100 and is still growing strong, one of my assistants currently taking  over for me since I have moved away.

But, do I have the time and ambition to do such a thing here? Currently, I reside in Columbus, Ohio. Its home to one of the major universities in the country, The Ohio State University, several major businesses such as JP Morgan Chase, Nationwide Insurance, Limited Brands (The Limited, Bath and Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, etc.) and more. It’s a distinct city with several different districts that all have their own historical background such as German Village, The Short North, OSU Campus, and The Brewery District. Its one of the major stops for any touring band or musician, speaker and celebrity. It has a growing arts and music scene, as well as local businesses, large-scale events, organizations, non-profit groups and much more.

So, you would think that it would be easy to find some cool kids to hangout with, right?

Well, if you’ve lived here for a while or went to school here then sure. If not, then you’re as lost as a kid in a store that can’t find its parent.

Instead of just randomly taking my Macbook Pro, iPod and going to a random cafe/bookshop and just sitting there hoping that maybe I can strike up a conversation with a stranger out of the blue, I’ve resorted to trying one major outlet.

The Internet. 

After searching around, I’ve stumbled across a few sites that have been somewhat helpful in not only learning about the city I’m in, but the people who reside in it.

First, I’m going to start with some major sites that could be useful to anyone else in this situation:

Meetup.com – I’m sure many others have been told to use this site many times when it comes to meeting new people with similar interests and I’m going to have to agree with those inconspicuous individuals. This site is wonderful with meeting people and building friendships. And if you don’t see anything close to what you want, you can always start a group yourself. You’d be surprised just how many people think like you. I did and I didn’t think it would get so large.

City-data.com – This is an interesting site that is mostly full of data that is input from residents in the select city they reside in. Gives a lot of detail towards education, districts, nightlife and many other topics. It helped me in getting a close look at some parts of the city I’m not familiar with.

OkCupid.com – Now… let me explain how this site can be useful. True, this is indeed a dating site. But to take a different perspective, it is also a social networking tool. It is considered one of the most, if not it is, popular dating and social networking sites around. It can aid in helping you find people who are just looking to meet others in the area. I’ve actually met a few good friends on this site, some I may have dated and others I haven’t. You’d be surprised just how many people on the site aren’t looking to date, but just to hangout and chat.

Local University Websites – Like any major, or even small, city there is a university in the area that hosts their own organizations and events that are free to the public. Take a look at their pages to see if there are any active groups with members that share the same interests as yourself.

If anyone else has any other major sites, let me know! Adding to the list would be a huge help!

Now, I’m going to go towards sites I’ve found in the current city that I’m living in:

ColumbusUnderground.com – It’s a wonderful site that has a wide range of topics that have been and currently are being discussed about Columbus, Ohio and surrounding areas. They make sure to post the most active events in the area, as well as community issues and organizations, political issues, music and art events, etc. They also host events for members to gather and meet each other in person in the city.

The Ohio State Activities & Organizations Websites - As I am not a student of OSU (Yet, hopefully), they still have a website full of the organizations, clubs, community service groups that are active around campus and in the city. They have a directory of their groups set by interests and I’ve found it to be quite useful. I plan to give it a closer look to see what groups I can find in the area. Since the school year is currently moving, it shouldn’t be too hard to find an active bunch.

Cbusr.com - I’m still trying to remember just how in the world I stumbled across this neat little site. I wish every city had one like it. Cbusr is a local site started by residents in the Columbus area who were looking to meet new people in the city, as well as help out others who are new to the area and would like to do the same. They host their own events as well in different parts of the city and encourage face-to-face interaction with others on the site. I’m still fairly new to it and trying to get use to just picking a cool person and letting them know that I’d love to meet them without creeping them out or seeming odd. Its a neat concept and appears to be quite active.

I’m still looking around for many other sites and groups to help me get use to the new city I’m in, so if anyone knows of any others, feel free to post them!

But of course, if the web isn’t your style, then maybe meeting some cool people or strangers at a bookstore, book club, cafe, lounge, live music session, etc. would be the next step. If you have a knack of striking up a conversation with people, then don’t be afraid to do so. You have a skill some of us would kill to have. Use it!

Me? I’ll stick to be a cautious being and using the Internets for now until I can slowly branch out and explore.